A “cop-fantasy” Hail Mary on the part of an Altoona, Pennsylvania woman failed to save her from a recent drunk-driving charge—but she gets points for style. The story began when another motorist called in to report an out-of-control red Chevy Monte Carlo that was swerving across both lanes of traffic and speeding up and down between 40 and 90 mph. By the time a state trooper had tracked the suspect, Monica Barnhart, to a residence (not hers), apparently she’d become wise to the fact that the fuzz was on her trail. So she did what any self-respecting, seriously impaired drunk woman would do: she tried to spin the whole thing into a sexual head-fake, answering her door in her underwear and offering the officer two yellow roses, as part of what she said was her “cop fantasy.” The officer didn’t bite, though—everyone knows police prefer begonias—and, after retrieving Barnhart’s jeans, hauled her in for a blood test. She failed with flying colors, coming in at a stunning blood-alcohol content of 0.356—more than four times Pennsylvania’s legal limit.