It hasn’t all been roses for Meredith Phillips, star of the second season of matrimonial reality show The Bachelorette. Choosing from 25 potential suitors and then breaking off her engagement shortly after the show ended in 2004 were the least of her troubles, as the 39-year-old former model now reveals her long battle with alcoholism. “For years I’d wake up every day feeling like I was hit by a truck,” Phillips tells People. At rock bottom, she says she was a daily blackout drinker who went through more than 20 bottles of wine a week. Eventually, “I realized I was going to kill myself,” she says. “There wasn’t another path for me other than to stop.” Now more than five months sober, Phillips says she wishes she hit the gym more often. “I should really be taking better care of myself,” she says, “But I really can only focus on one thing at a time right now.” But despite it getting in the way of her gym time, she seems grateful for her newfound sobriety, adding: “I’m finally starting to live my life again.”
