I am sitting across from Paul in the marijuana grow shop where he works. Paul has the heavy goatee and Dodgers cap that one would come to expect from a marijuana grower, but he is different in one major way from many of his colleagues: he is five years sober. He explains that he started growing eight years back, before he got sober. “My wife had cancer and it was so expensive to get the medical marijuana so I decided to start growing it on my own,” he explains. “It turned into a bigger thing because we had leftovers and began to sell it to collectives. At that time, it became our biggest income source.
But Paul’s recovery didn’t give him an easy way to pay the bills. “I’m not ashamed at all to say what I do because we are a legitimate business,” he says. “My best friend has been sober five months and he’s bartending. I can’t do that, but this isn’t a problem. It’s my job. Though I don’t make as much money as I used to, which is why I now also work at the grow shop, this is what I do for a living. My pastor who was 30 years sober told me that as long as what I was doing was legal, it was fine, and so I make sure I stick to that. “Here I am six years sober, and I have this two-foot cola in front of me and I am clipping it, not smoking it.”
Paul is not alone. In 2006, California produced over eight million pounds of marijuana and that number is only growing. And as more folks are getting into the marijuana industry, people in recovery are joining their ranks. Michael is over 10 years sober, and though he doesn’t grow himself, he has been clipping marijuana plants for a fellow sober grower for over four years. With a slight build and Hollywood good looks, he explains that it took some time to get used to. “I needed work so I put the word out and a friend asked me if I would help clip buds,” he recalls. “It was strange at first because it was once something I really loved to do. I started smoking when I was 13, I read High Times—it was my church as a teen and into my late twenties—and I thought the world of it. And here I am six years sober, and I have this two-foot cola in front of me and I am clipping it, not smoking it.”
Michael says that his current career gives him have a greater understanding of powerlessness. “I know that the power alcohol and an assortment of narcotics gave me no longer provide me with the same power,” he says. “Of course, if I was to smoke a joint, I would get high or if I drank, I would get drunk. But the aftermath of that choice—depression, no sleeping—would come back ten-fold. Knowing and believing that those things don’t offer me a solution anymore allows me to work with and believe in this gift from our earth: marijuana.”
Michael and Paul both maintain that they can be both sober and supporters of legalization. “I believe that drugs should be legal, especially marijuana,” says Michael. “We should be taxing marijuana, and using it towards rehabilitation for alcoholics and addicts. Also by legalizing it, we could be helping our neighbor Mexico with the drug wars. At the end of the day, our demand for drugs, and their illegalization, are creating those problems.”
“I think it’s a great thing for people to get involved in activism and be a part of something you believe in—not just because you want to get high or get rich, but because you recognize the health benefits of this important drug,” adds Paul. “I would much rather be taking something natural than a pharmaceutical, and I know a lot of sober people who would agree with that in theory. There is a woman at my church who has multiple sclerosis and she’s in a wheelchair and I have some older friends who I give it to for free. The majority of the time, my work is about being able to help people—not about people getting loaded.”
The legalization battle has a long history in our country. After being widely accepted in various cultures for centuries, marijuana came under derision in America, primarily just in the last century. From a combination of religious zealots and corporate powers (i.e. Dupont Plastics), the desire to see marijuana use, and hemp production, squelched became the rallying cry of the 1930s campaigns to illegalize it. Since then, even as the information around medical marijuana use and popular support have changed, the politics have not. Though there are currently 16 states that allow for medical marijuana prescriptions, the Department of Justice recently ruled in July 2011 that marijuana would remain criminalized at the federal level.
Philip is a grower in Northern California who has been a part of the marijuana industry for over 10 years. He also just recently celebrated 20 years sober. With his clean cut hair and relatively conservative style, he could be mistaken for a Bay Area attorney or architect. To him, growing was never an ethical dilemma. “I didn’t really have any concern because I worked my whole life in bars and nothing has devastated me more than alcohol,” he says. “I just don’t see how if alcohol is legal and it causes so many problems, why pot shouldn’t be legal too. I am not going to let the government decide my morals.”
Much like other sober professionals in the pot industry, Philip prefers that no one in AA knows what he does for a living.
But much like other sober professionals in the pot industry, Philip prefers that no one in AA knows what he does for a living. “As few people as possible know about me growing,” he confesses. “There is absolutely a fear of judgment, and it’s not just me. I know other sober people in the marijuana industry—growers and clippers—and they have all experienced that there is a difference in how people to react to growing versus bartending. It’s weird to me but I guess they think that one of them is legal and the other isn’t. And we’re supposed to be law-abiding citizens.”
Paul concurs, having experienced his own scorn when people found out what he did. “If people in AA really have a legitimate reason to work in this industry, I think it’s between them and their Higher Power,” he says. “It’s not for other people to judge. And it’s sad because I have seen people shunned, and I have been shunned, for being honest about what we do. It’s not the case across the board, but there are people who look down on it. They think I am doing something illegal, but the truth is, I’m not.”
Michael sees no difference between the sober person who works in a bar and the one who grows marijuana. “I have friends that serve drinks—even own bars—and they know that their patrons are getting drunk and driving home at night. So why is it so bad for sober people to be a part of offering marijuana to those that can smoke it? What I have learned from recovery is that I don’t need to be afraid of drugs and alcohol. They still work and are enjoyed by a lot of people who can use them responsibly. And if someone gets a license and works with a shop and grows marijuana in its healthiest form, where he can create a business and take care of a family and be self-supporting while still staying sober, who are we to judge?”
Kristen McGuiness is a freelance writer and regular contributor to The Fix who wrote previously about the 13th step and dreaming about drinking, among many other topics. She is a former intern for High Times and the author of 51/50: The Magical Adventures of a Single Life.
